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Birth and death: Much love to share

Birth and death: are they really so different? A quarter of a million Californians die each year; a half million are born. What’s the difference in care these people receive – those at opposite ends of their life spectrum?

Hospice is a special approach designed to give the same care in the final phase of life that is given in the first, whether the patient is an infant, young adult or great-grandparent. At a time when nothing more can be done to cure a disease, hospice recognizes that there is still much that can be done for the patient and loved ones.

As life enters this final phase, there is still life to be lived, things to be learned, and love to share.

Those who work in hospice understand how much our work with the terminally ill resembles the work of childbirth educators and midwives. Sharing this comparison may help those unfamiliar with the full range of hospice services to better understand our holistic philosophy: treating all needs of the patient—physical, emotional, psychosocial, and spiritual—and including the family and caregivers in the circle of care.

New parents are honored with beautiful hospital rooms so that they feel right at home. Friends and family are welcome around the clock to provide support.

Hospice patients are cared for in their homes by those who love them most. We come to the patient, bringing with us the equipment, skills and support that allow families to care for their loved ones where they are most comfortable.

Childbirth classes teach parents-to-be what to expect as the pregnancy progresses and teach the partner how to comfort and coach the mother through the birth process.

Hospice teaches patients and families what to expect as a disease progresses though its natural course; how appetite, breathing and other functions may be affected and ways to lessen the accompanying discomfort. Caregivers are taught how to recognize when death is near and are encouraged to plan for this moment so they can support their loved one through the final breath.

New parents are offered classes on parenting—how to comfort, bathe, nourish, soothe.

Hospice teaches caregivers how to care for their loved one – feeding and bathing techniques best suited to the patient, how to recognize when medications are needed and how to administer them, signs of distress when words are absent.

Hospice workers coach family members until they are confident and comfortable providing care, and are always just a phone call away if family members need help or guidance anytime, day or night.

New parents are encouraged to develop a support system to reach out to for help when the stress of round-the-clock parenting is too great.

Hospice’s interdisciplinary approach to care provides a support system. Besides nurses and hospice aides, social workers assist families in planning for the end of life, talking through issues they might be uncomfortable discussing or that they haven’t considered. Clergy, if desired, may be involved to assist the patient in meeting spiritual needs. Patient care volunteers offer companionship, caregiver relief, and other non-medical help when families need an extra set of hands.

With the loss of a loved one – child, parent, sibling, spouse, partner, friend -- there are survivors who must carry on. Hospice bereavement support is available to every family and caregiver in the community so that they can rebuild emotional strength.

There is no single right way to die, just as there is no single right way to give birth.
We bring babies into the world with as much attention and love as we can possibly muster. When children are born into desperate situations, we intervene with food, medical assistance and even homes. People nearing the end of their lives – no matter their age, economic status, race, disease, or level of family involvement – deserve the same.

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