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You Can Talk About It

by Mary Odbert

When someone you know or love has been diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, how do you talk about what comes next or what to do? It is not easy to talk about dying or things related, but almost everyone is better off for having done it. Your wishes are known and there is less fear from the unknown for both you and your family. Here are some suggestions for talking about hospice.

“Your family dynamic and individual personalities make the approach to discussing hospice very individual,” said Sheri Pieper, LCSW at Yolo Hospice. “People who have expressed fear of death likely need a different approach than one who has dealt with the subject in a forthright manner. Keep that in mind as you begin your discussion.”

Once you bring up hospice you’ll likely find that many people have misunderstandings or no understanding of hospice. A good question is: “What do you know about hospice?” Exploring the misconceptions and discussing the truths about hospice puts everyone on the same playing field. You can have this conversation with a doctor, with representatives of Yolo Hospice, or after doing a little research on line, just among family members. Besides the Internet, you can call Yolo Hospice offices to have reference materials sent to you.

Caring for people and their families is an accurate way to explain what Yolo Hospice does, but it is very general. That explanation doesn’t begin to cover the uniqueness of Yolo Hospice’s relationship with their patients and patient families, nor the excellent, often indispensable services we provide. Sheri Pieper suggests that for some people a discussion of services is what needs to come first.

“With some people, the best place to begin is to discuss their needs and the services that would be helpful first,” suggested Pieper. “Later in the conversation, you can discuss the whole person approach to services that hospice provides and how that service meets individual needs.”

With Yolo Hospice, the individual who has this life-limiting illness is the center of our attention -- not the illness itself. Yolo Hospice is concerned with how you are, what you think, what you’re worried about, and how your family is doing with their new responsibilities and their worries.

Because of that unique viewpoint, Yolo Hospice provides you with a nurse to insure you are physically comfortable and your symptoms are as non-existent as we can make them. A social worker is available to consult with you about any of your concerns. If you’d like to discuss spiritual matters, spiritual care counselors are there to talk or listen to you. If you need a hand to hold or someone to stand in for your family, Yolo Hospice will assign a volunteer to you. Hospice aides will help with personal care, and the bereavement team will help your family.

With all Yolo Hospice’s experts, there to lend a hand, using hospice is not about giving up. Choosing hospice is about choosing to use the help now available to you. If there is no cure for your illness, your prognosis is poor or there are no more treatments for you, hospice can still help.

Yolo Hospice team members can give you the time to sit and discuss, understand or explore what is happening to you, when your physician might have difficulty finding time. Hospice provides you the team to care for you. Their care is designed to keep your symptoms under control so that you have the time, ability and strength to take care of unfinished business, visit with family and friends or go fishing. Whatever it is you want to do, hospice will try to help you enjoy your life as much as possible.

However you choose to broach the subject of hospice, please do so with sensitivity to each person’s unique situation and personality.

If you or your family member needs hospice care or think you might, don’t wait to get more information. Yolo Hospice is able to answer your questions and available as a resource to you. Please call (530) 758-5566 to talk about our services today.

 

 

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Quotes

Ted Skiera
"I've worked for 20+ years in cardiovascular and oncology nursing, most recently working as a nurse coordinator in cardiovascular research. My work with Yolo Hospice has enabled me to focus all of my acute clinical experiences into caring for patients, and their loved ones, during a most challenging period of their lives."
~Ted Skiera, RN