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Many paths lead volunteers to hospice

July 2006 Enterprise article by Pam Eimers

Years ago, Claudia Myers's good friend died of breast cancer. Throughout her friend's battle to stay alive, Myers was, simply put, there for her. Observing that her friend had so much family support, Myers recalls "It made me wonder about all the people who don't have that support and I thought - that's something I could do."

In 1998, Myers became a Yolo Hospice patient care volunteer and she has "been there" for patients and their families ever since.

Each of Yolo Hospice's 50 volunteers came to hospice along a different path. When young, we don't generally look to the future and think about helping dying people, but life events have a way of leading us to unfamiliar places that suddenly are exactly where we want and need to be.

Looking back, Shannon Medina of Woodland, an employee of Woodland Memorial Hospital, seemed destined to become a hospice volunteer. After all, the nurse who attended her birth was Gracie Hiddleson who years later would be instrumental in establishing Yolo Hospice. Medina has been a volunteer for 13 years. "I feel honored that I'm allowed into their lives at this time," she says.

"Life experiences led me to this path," says Phyllis Montero. Phyllis works for the Catholic Diocese Cemetery in Sacramento. She and her son's mother-in-law were both diagnosed with breast cancer within two weeks of one another. "She didn't make it," says Montero. That experience introduced her to hospice. Today Montero is a patient care volunteer and also leads adult bereavement groups at Yolo Hospice.

Davis native and UC Davis veterinary student Lauren Ayala has been a volunteer for six years, first in San Diego, now here. One day while visiting her dying great-aunt she found a pamphlet about hospice. It sounded interesting, so she made a phone call and immediately enrolled in the next volunteer training.

"The camaraderie between volunteers and the support we get surprised me," says Ayala. "I feel very valued at hospice — but I get so much more from it than I give."

Patient care volunteers have a very specific and valued role in hospice. "They are a friend and a companion, not a caregiver," says Margaret Grayden, Volunteer Services Manager for Yolo Hospice. "The gift of their presence is the most important thing a volunteer offers to a patient."

Volunteers may read to patients, play cards, write letters or family stories the patient dictates, visit, or simply sit quietly by. Volunteers also enable weary caregivers to take a break.

"I listen most," says Montero, describing her time with patients. "It's about them, not me. I take my lead from the patient."

"The connection with people is what I like best," says Myers, who is an information technology manager at UC Davis. "People open their lives to you and it's not trivial. It cuts right to the heart of what's important in life."

At first, volunteers worry that they may be overcome with sorrow when their patients die. "But you enter the relationship knowing they aren't going to live," says Myers. "I definitely grieve, but I'm not afraid of that."

"I do miss them," says Ayala, "but it's more about making a good death. Nothing can change the fact that they're dying, so we do what we can to make it comfortable."

"It's such a gift to be allowed in that space," says Montero.

"I feel like I'm dong something that matters and is worthwhile," says Myers. "It just feels right."

"I think I'll be a hospice volunteer all my life," reflects Ayala, "until I need my own volunteer."

Those interested in learning more about hospice and the volunteer role are welcome at any of the seven trainings offered throughout the year by the Sacramento Hospice Consortium, a group of area nonprofit hospice organizations. Yolo Hospice posts registration information and training dates on our website (www.yolohospice.org). Questions may be directed to Margaret Grayden by calling Yolo Hospice at 758-5566.

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Quotes

Ted Skiera
"I've worked for 20+ years in cardiovascular and oncology nursing, most recently working as a nurse coordinator in cardiovascular research. My work with Yolo Hospice has enabled me to focus all of my acute clinical experiences into caring for patients, and their loved ones, during a most challenging period of their lives."
~Ted Skiera, RN