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Small things make a big difference in quality of life

by Pam Eimers
February 15, 2007

Watching the spectacular sight of thousands of snow geese gathered along the coast, you might have missed the two women relaxing on the beach. But they were there, soaking in the sun, the flight of the birds, this bright moment of life.

Both women were bird watchers, both on the young side of middle age. One was dying while the other was helping her find meaning and pleasure in her final months.

“It’s a matter of being supportive,” says Claudia Myers, one of the women on the beach, describing her role as a Yolo Hospice patient care volunteer. To do so she focuses on what her patient wants or needs, keeping in mind that it is often the small things that make so much difference in life.

Like a trip to the ocean. Or a soak in the tub.

Myers recalls her visits with a patient in a nursing home. The patient loved to soak in the whirlpool bath, but needing constant supervision, she was allowed only a few minutes for each bath. Myers began timing her weekly visits so that once the nursing home staff had helped the woman into the tub, Myers could sit with her as long as she was content to soak. It’s a pleasure most of us take for granted, but it was what this patient looked forward to all week.

Melinda Coles, a registered nurse with Yolo Hospice, understands that listening to her patient’s life stories, their hopes, dreams and wishes is often as healing as her nursing skills. She is always mindful of the small things she can do to enrich their lives. One day she, social worker Lisa Flanagan, their patient and his wife turned on the music and shared a dance. The couple had met on the dance floor many years before and dancing had been a love they shared. The hospice team documented the occasion with Coles’s camera. Those photos brought joy to their son, Jeff Watterson, after his father’s death. “This is how I always think of my parents,” he said.

Some patients lose weight during their illness and clothes no longer fit well. “We all feel better when we’re comfortable,” Coles says. She’ll occasionally arrange for patients to get to the Yolo Hospice Thrift Store to shop for clothing. “It’s so fun and gratifying to help someone find something that they love to wear.” A foray out of the house can be immensely satisfying for the house-bound patient, explains Coles.

Children’s lives change markedly when a parent is dying. Yolo Hospice social worker Pilar Alonso-Nuñez takes care to find ways to normalize life for children when everything around them is changing. She and her own young daughter have invited patient’s children to accompany them in activities such as touring the neighborhood to view holiday lights. “I wanted these children to have some carefree times and happy memories of the holidays,” says Alonso-Nuñez who gave the children pictures of their evening together.

Another patient care volunteer worked in her patient’s garden. The patient couldn’t see the garden from her bed but it was important to her that the plants she loved were thriving. One patient requested a volunteer who would play cribbage. The weekly afternoons opposite the game board provided time for simple everyday interactions and conversations that gave both the volunteer and patient great pleasure.

We all intrinsically understand that it is more than medicine that makes us feel better. It is the little things, all too often overlooked, that make the biggest impact.

“For the dying, so much of life revolves around the illness,” Coles says. It’s important to look beyond the illness. “It’s about normalizing life,” Coles says.

For information on the services Yolo Hospice provides, or to learn about the wide range of volunteer opportunities, visit the Yolo Hospice website at www.yolohospice.org or call Valeska Wise, patient care services manager, at 758-5566.

 

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Quotes

Judy Norton
"Coping with terminal illness is all consuming for patient and family. As a hospice nurse, I feel it is most important to advocate, respect and use the knowledge we have to make the end of life the most comfortable it can be while always keeping in mind the unique needs of each patient."
~Jody Norton, RN