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Stepping Stones: Yolo Hospice's expanded program for children

September 2006 Enterprise article by Pam Eimers & Robyn Burris

Yolo Hospice is pleased to introduce Stepping Stones, our newly expanded grief support program for children and teens who have experienced the death of a loved one.

While our children's bereavement program has existed for many years, a recent grant through the Rumsey Community Fund is providing the means to broaden and promote this valuable service to the community.

We've given our program a new name, Stepping Stones, to set it apart from the hospice services we offer to our patients and their families.

Choosing the name for our children's bereavement program presented a unique challenge, as we wished to appeal to young children and teenagers, boys and girls, alike. We also wanted the name to symbolize the journey children and teens embark on as they enter their world of grief.

In part, Stepping Stones represents the three 'steps' children and teens negotiate in the bereavement process: understanding that death is real, feeling the emotions of grief, and expressing the way loss feels.

A new look accompanies the new name, too. Thanks to the Rumsey grant and donations from our spring fundraising campaign, a children's room is taking shape in our administration building. The space is being designed and equipped with materials for therapeutic play and expressive arts as well as furniture that appeals to kids and teens.

Some parents are concerned about bringing their children to our offices, imagining our facilities to be much like a hospital. In reality, all hospice patients receive care in their own homes. Our offices are reserved for our bereavement programs and day-to-day administration.

Some parents may not bring their kids to a bereavement program because they don't fully understand how it can help.

Often adults assume children are too young to understand death and therefore believe they don't grieve. Or, if the young person isn't asking questions or crying, or refuses to talk about the death, parents may mistakenly believe the child or teen is doing all right. This is where Stepping Stones can make a difference.

Stepping Stones counselors understand how children process death at each stage of their development and use a variety of approaches to facilitate the healthy expression of grief. This understanding is critical to being able to help them acknowledge death, understand and express their feelings, and successfully negotiate the complex journey of grief.

Developmentally appropriate art activities are designed to help children and teens express the feelings and ideas they may not be able to put into words. Music, books, and movement techniques are also used successfully to work through grief.

Stepping Stones is committed to supporting all children and their families within the greater community. While some children and teens receive bereavement services as an extension of the hospice care the patient in their lives received, many others have lost loved ones who did not receive our services. The death may have been sudden, due to a car accident, heart attack or other traumatic injury. Our bereavement services are available to everyone.

Children can also receive our services through local schools. When school counselors identify students who may benefit from additional support, they contact the parents to introduce Stepping Stones. Parents may sign a release form giving permission for their child to participate. Stepping Stones counselors meet students either individually or in small groups in a series of sessions at the school.

Stepping Stones strives to reach children in other familiar settings, including day care facilities or spiritual centers when invited.

We are interested in hearing from others who work with children who may benefit from Stepping Stones. If you would like to learn more, please call Robyn Burris, Bereavement Services Manager or Donna Hirschfield, Bereavement Counselor, at 758-5566.

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Quotes

Judy Norton
"Coping with terminal illness is all consuming for patient and family. As a hospice nurse, I feel it is most important to advocate, respect and use the knowledge we have to make the end of life the most comfortable it can be while always keeping in mind the unique needs of each patient."
~Jody Norton, RN